Death is only a horizon, & I'm ready for my sun to set

I really blame myself for losing all the good friends I had. I don't know maybe its just me but I hate it. And now I feel like I'm about to lose on of the good friends that I've ever made. It's always me that starts shit & it's always me that argues over  really dumb & pointeless reasons. Maybe its just that I've been threw alot & I would really hate to lose this person over my stupid past. Its just really hard to forget & start fresh. & its also very hard for me to trust people. I know that you never did anything wrong, I blame myself for ever thinking bad things about you & im sorry. I would just really hate for our good friendship to end over pointless things. I would be so lost without you & I would never be able to forgive myself. I really love you & you're the best thing thats ever happend to me. You really are a good & special friend to me, its all I ever wanted & its all I'll ever need:]